Boot Camp & Baking

This is what it was like when I stepped on the scale after the great cake ball holiday of 2010.  It was definitely a "holy crap" moment!  I cried, cussed, texted a few friends and then ate a cookie.  No need in making a drastic change quickly, right?  Well, in an effort to try to get into some sort of shape I started back full force on Weight Watchers yesterday and started a boot camp for beginners at my church.  Boot Camp started tonight and I think I may have needed to find a "I haven't exercised in years" boot camp because, MY WORD, did it kick my butt (and there's a lot to kick)! ha!  I'm just grateful I took my trash and recycling down my steep driveway to the curb before I went instead of when I got back since the chances of me making it back up the hill with my shaky legs would have been almost impossible!! I signed up for a month to start out with and I'm hoping since I just confessed to this to my 2 readers ( Hi Vanessa & Allison!) that it will be my accountability piece.

Also, in more exciting news, I got a new drop-in range yesterday!!! Woo Hoo!  I have officially crossed over into the adult world since I am now excited about getting new appliances.  Anyway, my old oven cooked unevenly and too hot.  To bake anything you had to remember to turn the temperature down 25 degrees and remember to rotate the item midway during cooking.  It was a pain!  Also, it wasn't self-cleaning and I'm really not the "stick my head in an oven with some oven cleaner" type of girl.  Since the installation, I have cooked supper the past two nights.  I'm sure the new will wear off soon but right now I am in baking heaven.  I may even make some cake balls....Kidding!

Back to the Real World

Well, today is the last day of my Christmas Break and I'm not going to lie, I hate to see it end!  However, if I want to keep a roof over my head and so forth, I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go back to work tomorrow.  I really think I missed my calling to be a trophy wife though!  Ha! 

I really am going to miss getting up early to exercise, being able to eat healthier, etc... Oh, who am I kidding, I didn't do any of that!!  Honestly, I'm going to miss sleeping until 9, staying up late, watching reality TV marathons (Toddlers & Tiaras and Real Housewives) and cake balls.  I'm still in cake ball detox and probably shouldn't have mentioned  them because now I'm craving them again! 

There is an upside with saying good-bye to Christmas break and that is the hopes that come with a new year and a new semester.  I'm really hoping that 2011 kicks 2010's butt in a good way!  After last year I am really in need of a good year! 

November 16

Dear Mom,

Today is your birthday!  I can't believe that it's been 17 years since I have celebrated this day with you.  I will never be able to put into words how much I and the rest of the family miss you.  Yes, we have continued on with our lives just as you wanted and yes, we have been mostly happy but you can see that there is something missing from all of our lives and that is you.   You meant so much to all of us. You were our glue.  You were our strength. You were our world.

There is so much I want to tell you and talk to you about.  The family has grown so much since you have gone.  You now have 7 great-grandchildren.  Can you believe it?  They are so sweet and beautiful and at times we see a little bit of you in all of them.  We've told them about you so they know they have a Mamaw that watches over them.  Last year while M & I were making your rolls we were talking about you. (By the way, we've made your rolls every year for Thanksgiving and THEY NEVER TURN OUT so if you could help out from above it would be greatly appreciated!)  Anyway, she was asking about where you were and I told her Heaven.  Which led to the question of what you were doing there to which I answered "probably dancing, your mamaw loved to dance."  Then came the question that brought tears.  "Is Mamaw coming to Thanksgiving?"  It broke my heart to tell her no but I told her that you would be dancing in Heaven. 

You see Mom, I know you are in a much better place but that still doesn't keep me from missing you.  I know that you are no longer hurting from cancer but there are so many times that I've needed you when I am hurting.  I know that you are laughing with your Heavenly Father but there are so many times that I've wanted to laugh with you.  I know that you are singing beautiful songs with the angels but I miss being in the car on one of our shopping trips and singing along with the radio with you.  I wanted so many times to talk with you when I had my miscarriage because you also lost a child to miscarriage.  I know that you are my guardian angel but I miss you here being my cheerleader, confidant, disciplinarian. I miss you being here being my mom.  I love you, Mom.  

Love always,
Your daughter




Starting a blog

Well, after much contemplation I have finally started a blog.  I am an avid blog reader and thought this would be a great outlet to journal the emotions and steps I am taking to become a mom.  My journey actually began in October of 2009 but I have had a few hiccups along the way.  I will write more about that later because it's getting late and it's been a long week.